New day, new week…hello, new day…hello, new week!

What will this week bring?

No message could have been any clearer…

I truly believe that we lost one of the greats back in July. The idea that Michael Jackson is no longer on this earth is a very strange thing to believe. In fact, I don’t believe it because his music and the legacy he left behind is amazing that he will never cease to inspire people all over the world for years to come yet. His music had a lasting impact on my older sister (Cats and Chocolate) when she was first introduced to MJ when she was 4 or 5 – she was having a tantrum, so our dad shut her in a room and made her listen to Thriller. Not quite sure what he was trying to achieve there, but she’s loved MJ ever since…and that had obviously rubbed off on me.

However, I got the opportunity to perform to the Jackson 5’s “I want you back” when I was about 9 with the beloved theatre company…there was a group of us little ones who had to dress up in retro, sparkly 70’s clothes…and dance our funky moves on stage – choreographed, of course! It’s a great memory, and after that, I was hooked on MJ. The beloved theatre has also performed “Smooth Criminal”, “Thriller” and “Will You Be There”…every song they cover is always good, in my opinion. At their upcoming Gala this month, they’re covering a few MJ songs I think, along with an Abba melody, Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”…and a selection of their original songs. Unfortunately, I won’t be on stage but I’ll be behind the scenes…with the little ones, which is always fun.

This Is It has a lovely impact – whilst it was sad to watch, obviously because he should still be here, it was a very optimistic film as well. Throughout the whole film, there was a strong message of LOVE, largely coming from the man himself but also from the people he was working with. Towards the end, MJ said that they were all a family, it was a huge adventure and that they were going to show the audience something they have never seen before…something that would make them want to make a difference. His death had that impact on me, the realisation that life is too short…and despite only living to the age of 50, he had achieved so much – no one can take that away from him, not even the people who are STILL trying to drag him down, even after his life has ended.

I truly want to make a difference to others, I’m not sure whether that philosophy has something to do with growing up within the beloved theatre, my parents, or my experiences as a deaf person…but I feel it’s a combination of a whole range of different influences, and one of those influences is music. I don’t think it’s a good idea to underestimate the power of music; it can take out a message to many people, it can change some people’s lives. MJ is an example of this, his lyrics, his voice, his dances, his ideas…they touched people’s lives. He inspired people. And yet, despite knowing how many people loved him, he was so humble at the same time. His alter ego was huge, yet behind closed doors, he was a shy person – which a lot of people would probably find hard to understand.

Growing up, I was painfully shy. Being on stage was an escape from reality, I could morph into any one I wanted…and I’m sure it’s the same for many people. But then again, there’s a lot of people who just love the buzz they get from the stage… People have different ideals and motivations; I’m in no way forcing anyone to like MJ, I accept that for some people, he was a bit too surreal. But on the other hand, I wish some people would have the same respect for those who love MJ, if we can accept that others may not like his work or lifestyle, then why won’t they accept that others do? It just makes me so angry when people are still so judgemental of people, especially when they haven’t got a good enough reason to judge.

MJ taught me many things, but one thing will always remain with me – music CAN make the world go round. Music CAN make a difference…in the film, he mentioned that they had four years to beat climate change, which left me slightly confused, but then I started to think about Obama, and the fact that he’ll be in office for 4 years…possibly what MJ was referring to…? Some people can be too nonchalant…accept some changes as a good thing – things will change for the best, but it’s up to us to make the change and make a difference to this world.

Colder and colder…curiouser and curiouser…

The weather seems to get colder every day…I’m wearing more and more layers and wearing gloves, hat and scarf every day now! It’s getting dark early too; but all this means that it’s getting closer and closer to the lovely month of December…which brings CHRISTMAS!! I’m getting quite excited but at the same time, I’m worrying a bit as I seem to have very little funds at the moment. It’s actually a little bit worrying. Maybe I should find a paid job because at the moment I’m doing lots of voluntary work…and I really do need those pennies! It’s a hard knock life.

Most of the lights in London seem to be switched on now, with the exception of a few streets here and there…and most places in the ‘burbs aren’t switched on yet… Tonight, I’m off to see a firework display, really looking forward to it – I missed all the fireworks last year so I’m determined to make up for it this year…money or not, I’ll see a display. The one tonight is free too…good times! When you’re “poor”, you have to learn to be crafty with the money you have…stretch it this way and that way…you might be surprised!!

I’ve had a bit too much time on my hands lately, which means more time to think. In my little world, time to think isn’t always a good thing. It means I start to over-think everything if I’m not careful! I don’t know why I do it, I just think…and think…and think…and think some more and in my head, things get blown up into something they’re not…and I start to worry…until it gets sorted out, and then I look back and wonder why I over-thought it all too much. It’s a bit silly really. Don’t know why I do it, I really don’t.

Colder and colder…

Curiouser and curiouser…

A band for you…

Oh and check this fabulous band out. They’re no longer touring/recording, as far as I know, but they are still great…find their albums and listen to them. And get into feminism. Riot Grrrl style.

Le Tigre

Riot Grrl on wikipedia…

Le Tigre…

Blogging in a twittering style…

Think the fact that I’m now on twitter has had a strange effect on my blogging. Well, that and the fact that I still seem to be too busy. Despite not doing much this last week or so. That’s a lie but it’s not a lie at the same time, if that makes sense? The weekend seemed to be BUSY, but last week was relatively quiet…but I suspect that had something to be with being “ill”. For the last week, I’ve been poorly with a tummy bug but thankfully, it’s starting to pass now. Fingers crossed!

I don’t know why I always seem to get myself into the deep end at the moment. If I have a spare moment in my day, I’ll try and cram it with something to keep my busy. But it’s not such a good thing. And I don’t know why I keep doing it. I’ve been thinking that it has something to do with being so busy at uni last year, that this time round I feel like I need to be busy otherwise I don’t feel as if I’ve achieved anything. Hmmm. But maybe it’s also to tire myself out so I can sleep at night and not have to think?! I don’t know really but I always used to be a bit of a lazy bum, so to suddenly turn into someone who’s BUSY BUSY BUSY, it doesn’t make much sense to me. It’s a strange life, this is.

So many great things have happened so far since friday. On friday, the boy and I went to see Bloc Party…and they were simply amazing, but they always are. It was a sad one afterwards though because it was probably the last gig they will be playing for at LEAST a year; they’re all taking time out from the band to focus on their own stuff – one has a baby, one is becoming a published writer… I’m eagerly awaiting their return to music though…but at the same time, I’m looking forward to Kele’s published works. Another great thing was Halloween, which I spent with a very close friend…we went wandering around Central London after midnight…as vampires, so it was quite fitting really…we found some tasty humans too Then on sunday night, for my mother’s birthday, we went to Pinktober’s Women of Rock at the Royal Albert Hall…it blew me away. Highlights, for me, included Joss Stone, Sharon Corr, Escala, Melanie C…gosh, I actually liked all the acts who performed that night…even Brian May appeared! It gave a great start to the week…

Lately though, I’ve started to feel a bit paranoid about things. Mainly about how other people perceive me. It’s probably just me, as always, over-thinking about things but with some people, I feel like they’re not being themselves all the time and I can’t quite work them out. And I’m not sure if I should bother but me being me, it’s bothering me. A lot. Do you ever feel that with some people, they’re being absolutely lovely with you and you feel like you’re getting on really well…but then there’s some moments when you feel like they’re looking at you funny and aren’t being very genuine? There’s a very small handful of people that I’m getting these impressions from at the moment. And I really don’t know what to make of it. It’s strange, these are people that I really wouldn’t have expected this kind of behaviour from. It’s really confusing me. Maybe I’m reading too much into it…but I can’t help it. When you get funny looks/behaviour from people, you’ll either be one of those who shrug it off…or, like me, you’ll sit and wonder about it for days/weeks afterward. I wish I could shed some light on the whole thing because now I’m not sure whether to make the effort anymore. I feel like I’ve put a lot into the friendship with one of them…but when I needed someone to talk to the other week, she didn’t get back to me until a lot later, by which time she was busy and I had already spoken to someone else. Is this just me, or is that a blow-off? Haven’t spoken to her since it happened. Haven’t really seen her since it happened. Or any of them actually. Busy lives or avoidance tactics?

Beside from that little hiccup, everything is still going quite smoothly in my little world. I’m excited because it’s November and it’s Christmas next month. But this is also the month that my Uncle died, I still miss him but I can’t even begin to imagine how my cousins must be feeling. It’s nearly two years but I don’t think any of us will ever stop missing him. As always, I’m just going to try and remember the good memories, not the bad ones. R.I.P P(D)F xxx

Pancakes for breakfast…how very New Yorkian

Felt like pancakes for breakfast this morning…and as I was piling them up onto my plate, I started thinking about New York and how much I miss it. It’s been nearly 4 years since we were there. But it’s still somewhere I simply adore. And I’m counting the days til I can go back. And counting the pennies too.

Hallows’ Eve…Halloween…

Just a little blog post to say…

Happy Halloween!!!

Hope you’re all having fun today/tonight…or if you’re not in the mood, just pop on your favourite “scary” film…and scoff popcorn all night…and eat spaghetti with tomato sauce – VAMPIRE style food…ahem. Not that I’d know anyway…

A Photograph For October

A Morning Post…A Rare Feat.

Rise and shine!

Surprisingly, I’ve been up since the horrid hour of 7.30am today. It is now 10.30am and I’m still attempting to fully wake up. Some interesting developments have taken place in the last few days. Firstly, I reluctantly joined the Twitter clan. I’m not sure why. Maybe just for the sake of it. But of course, I won’t give up blogging…I’ve got too much to say, it’s impossible to squeeze it all into a little sentence or two!

Secondly, I’ve been pondering the prospect of looking at flats/houses/studio apartments that I could move into within the next year or two…or, whenever I can afford it! I think the time has come when I’m finally starting to draw the final straws of living at home. Whilst at uni, I forgot about the hassles of living at home…well actually, no, I knew things wouldn’t be perfect when I came home but I thought it would be better than being at uni…away from home at least. But now I’ve come to the realisation that I need my own space, to be frank. I need the space to think and grow, and now at home I just don’t always feel like I have this space. That’s not to say that I hate living at home, no. Most of the time, it’s fine. But, as I blogged about over the summer, there are times when my mother and I don’t get along, and now I’m not so sure if it’s worth it. It’s better to have the space and get along fine, than to get on top of each other and bicker a lot. That’s what I think anyway. Any suggestions?

Drove the boy to work this morning, or rather, he drove there whilst I drank my tea, and I drove home… Luckily, I was awake enough to drive home! But now I feel like I need another tea to get me going, and I really want some cupcakes too so I may have a baking session at some point today. Wahay! I absolutely adore Lizzie In Wonderland’s cakes, she always makes them to perfection and has such an imagination on her, that they never fail to amaze. Trust me. Check them out on her blog.

Have yet to sort out the jewellery stuff…but that’s one of two things I need to do today. Strike that. One of THREE things I need to do today: the other two is to tidy my room and do some work for the course. I seem to always have things to do these days. The list never ends. It’s not entirely a bad thing, it’s just that it’d be nice to complete one list…before starting to write another! At least then I could feel like I’ve done something, and have time to pause a bit. I guess this is what happens when you live in London. The rat race and all that.

A little something I did for the course this week:

The sound of a door,
Opening and shutting,
Loudly, not carefully,
The pattern of a star,
Paved onto the ground,
With yellow lines,
Here and there,
A gentle breeze,
That I cannot hear,
Am I imagining the faint sounds,
Of traffic in the distance,
The Autumn sun,
Is breaking through the clouds,
Footsteps increasing,
Then decreasing,
As I watch them go,
I look and watch,
As this University life,
Passes on by,
But I have no regrets,
Campus life,
Was not for me,
It passes on by,
As I dream,
Of another dream.

No time for idle thumbs…

Wow. What a busy month this has turned out to be!! I had not expected to be so busy, I was expecting to continue to be a lazy lady, who just dabbled in this, that and anything. But it looks like life has another plan for me. I’ve been incredibly busy at the beloved theatre company, but I’m not entirely sure why or how I got so busy there. But it’s good all the same, it means that with the experience I’m getting, I may be able to teach Level 1 BSL by the new year – but maybe I’m getting ahead of myself here. But really, in terms of finding ways to get a bit of money in, this month has been great.

The jewellery venture is AT LAST starting to kick off…so get over to www.starsandrainbowsjewellery.wordpress.com for a gander…and if you have us as friends on facebook, have a look at our page on there too. We’re going to be adding a lot more to our etsy.com website this week too, so if you know the web address then head over there too. It’s getting closer to Christmas now, and I’m suspecting it’s going to be a tight one with the purses…I know it will be for me. Most of our pieces will be selling at anywhere between £2.50 – £15…with the exception of precious/semi-precious pieces, which will be slightly more expensive. And if you want us to make you something specific then let us know, the tiara on the blog was made for a wedding commission but the Bride decided to go a different way so she’s not using the tiara now, which means that it’ll be up for sale at about £20…if you’re a soon-to-be-Bride…get your mitts on it or request something similar – there’s no extra fee.

I’ve also been playing around with the camera a lot recently, and snapping away on the streets before all the leaves are gone. Then I’ll start snapping all the winter shots I want. I’m actually looking forward to winter this year. It wasn’t the same last year, it didn’t even feel like it was Christmas. I think it was because I was away at Uni for the lead up to Christmas, which was completely different to previous years which were mainly spent at home. And in the evening on Christmas day, I went round to my boyfriend’s house and stay over…which felt a bit strange for me; as much as I love his family, I felt a longing to be at home with my own family. I don’t think I yet feel a part of his family. Which is a shame I guess, but I think it may have something to do with my shyness and deafness. But having said that, his family are really good at trying to be inclusive…whereas my extended family aren’t as good. Strange. But I’m just really looking forward to the lead up to Christmas this year.

I’ve made a promise to Lizzie In Wonderland that I’ll go up and visit her at Uni before the term is out…we’re going to go to the German Christmas Market. Fun times. And when she’s home, I’m going to beg her to come to the Winter Wonderland with me…but having said that, I think she’s been already…so I’m going to beg her to go with ME. Yes. That sounds like a plan. AND I’m looking forward to the Christmas lights switch-on…all over London, the lights are already up…just waiting to be switched on. I’m so excited, I’m like a kid in a candy store! ALSO, I’ve decided to do my Christmas shopping week by week this year…well, I did the same last year and it worked quite well, it really spreads the cost of the festive season. That is, when I get some money in my account. I’m currently poor…until pay day.

The course is going really well too…but maybe I’m jinxing it because I’ve got an assignment to do for Friday and I’ve yet to get started on it. Whooooopsie. I’ll do it tomorrow I think. Must get a proper diary really, need to start keeping track of where I have to be…at what time…because lateness seems to be my best friend at the moment. But it’s not very good. Right, either I find my long-lost diary or buy a new one, which would be pointless at this time of the year. Oh dear.

Hope you’ve all had a less than hectic October… And I hope you’re looking forward to the Christmas countdown!