Thoughts are a little all over the place right now, so I will attempt to sort through them and put them into order…but knowing me, that’ll take ages. Instead, I’ll just go with the flow. I need to write.
It’s been a bit of a whirl-land lately, a lot has happened, to the point where I can’t even really pinpoint when each thing happened anymore…it all just fell into place. It has been one thing after another, bam bam bam; mostly all good, but because it’s happened all at once, I’m feeling the need to step back and pause. Pause and reflect.
With that said, I don’t want to reveal it all just yet. I need to tell a few people in person, and then text/email a few friends who aren’t “down the road” anymore – one is up in the North of England!! It’s all good though. (And no, no babies on the scene yet!)
Just…yeah, I need to press the pause button, at least for the weekend. It’s been a crazy week; started off fairly quietly, and then as the week’s gone on, it’s gotten more and more busy and hectic. Culminating in something new tonight, that I’ll need to give a lot of thought to. After this, I was waiting around for the boy for well over an hour in Central London; it was full of people coming and going, and heading home, heading on to the next bar/pub…but I wasn’t really in the mood for it. Just wanted quiet, and calm – Central, after 10pm, doesn’t really offer that. I was kicked out of Starbucks when the clock struck 10, and so I wandered for a little, but just wanted…to be alone, on my own. There’s a difference, because you can be alone in London…yet never really feel like you’re alone. There are people all around. And yet…you can be surrounded by people…and feel a loneliness that is all-consuming.
I have come to care about many people, suddenly, in such a short space of time. We’re connected, in some way or another, through a common experience. This week was meant to be a “break”…but we can’t really stay away from one another, it’s like a magnetic force pulling us together. They’re beautiful souls though, and they all have huge hearts. We might not be perfect, and we may rub one another the wrong way from time to time, but at the end of the day they have taken a piece of my heart and I don’t want it back. They can keep it, because I know they will nurture it. Over the last few years I have come to realise just how important it is that I surround myself with people who bring light to my life; when I am around these people, I feel so inspired that it is unbelievable. And these people, these new friends that have touched my heart in such a deep way…? They’re special. (Thank you.)
Slowly, the sadness is dispelling.
And I will be back soon.