Stars and Rainbows

"Life is much too important to be taken seriously…"

Reaching for the stars…

“Every graduate – scratch that – every person has the chance to reach for the stars in their chosen field.”

Richard Branson sure does talk sense. And I love Graduation speeches. They rock. Read Richard’s.

It’s been a long week, but I’m ready to take on the world…and I’m so excited. Off to the seaside tomorrow with one of my oldest and closest friends, and it couldn’t have come at a better time. Will be back to blog soon, with photographs and all – ooh, you lucky things! Sending love and hugs, and all things nice. ♥

Will You Be There

It’s deadline week. After Thursday…I’ll be free.

Got songs playing on repeat.

…and many more.

I’ll be back soon. Adieu. ♥

I Held You in the Square

I Held You in the Square
~ Ben Okri

I held you in the square
And felt the evening
Re-order itself around
Your smile.

The dreams I could never touch
Felt like your body.
Your gentleness made the
Night soft.

And even if we didn’t know
Where we were going,
Nor what street to take
Or what bench to sit on
What chambers awaited
That would deliver us our
Naked joy,
I could feel in your spirit
The restlessness for a journey
Whose beauty lies
In the arriving moment
Of each desire.

Holding you in the evening square,
I sealed a dream
With your smile as the secret pact.

20130513-033401.jpg

Lights On.

“The past is only the future with the lights on.” 

There’s something about being around people you knew when you were growing up; it’s like you fall back into patterns of behaviour…yet slightly more “grown up”. Yet, not, at the same time. I like being around those who know me from years past – if they’re close, then they know exactly how far you have come. I really love all my close friends; they get me. I’m a little odd, and they’re a little odd…so it works. And tonight, we met up with an old friend, whom we’ve not seen in quite a while. It brings up old, but lovely, memories. Memories are lovely things to have.

It really has been a wonderful weekend. Very excited to start planning the summer. It feels so close now.

“Isn’t there something familiar about me? The past is only the future with the lights on.” ~ Baby Come On, +44

Southwold SummerI’ll be back soon. So inspired after the weekend. Feel so in tune with my imagination and emotions at the moment. Sweet dreams. ♥

 

Today is going to be a good day.

What a beautiful weekend it has been, and it’s not over yet. It’s been truly lovely, here in Southwold – sunshine has been out to play every day.

20130506-151024.jpg

20130506-151055.jpg

20130506-151125.jpg

20130506-151153.jpg

20130506-151222.jpg

20130506-151315.jpg

20130506-151345.jpg

20130506-151436.jpg

20130506-151515.jpg

20130506-151543.jpg

20130506-151622.jpg

20130506-151736.jpg

20130506-151804.jpg

20130506-151830.jpg

20130506-151857.jpg

20130506-151924.jpg

The freckles have invaded…summer is almost here!

If you’re in the UK, I hope you’re having a great Bank Holiday…I hope it’s filled with all of your favourite things!

Sending love and (sun lotion scented) hugs. Everybody, do what you’re doing, your smile will bring a sunshine day.

A Weekend Seaside Retreat…

This weekend (which is a bank holiday weekend here in the UK) I’ve escaped from London…and found myself beside the sea. It’s a family favourite, this place…and I couldn’t be happier to be here. It’s perfect timing, as I have my final assignment to write (woah, can’t believe how fast this academic year has gone…). It’ll be the perfect mix of writing and breaks, wherein I can stroll along the seafront; wander down the pier, and get windswept – channelling the whole messy, windswept hair look; admire the beach-huts; shop in the beautiful independent, local shops – some of which are full of lovely art and crafts; visit the farmer’s market which comes to town every Friday – we did this today, got some yummy food; eat fish ‘n’ chips… Basically, just live the seaside dream. Yesterday and today have been lush, and I know it will continue.

As I wrote on Facebook earlier: “I could quite happily spend a whole summer besides the seaside…with Helena cooking me yummy food, ‘shaking her ass’ to music at the same time. It’s a good life.” It’s truly been such a lovely day. (Helena is a close friend.)

photo (4)

photo (1)

photo (2)

photo (3)And along with this month’s The Simple Things, I’ll be reading this all weekend:

QuietOff to read some more – snuggled up in bed, with a gorgeous seaside-themed quilt, and a mug of warm milk – I started reading it last night, and I’m hooked.

I hope you’re all going to have a lovely weekend, full of all your favourite things. Pretty sure this won’t be the last you’ll hear from me this weekend…instead of writing my assignment (which is the first two chapters of a ‘novel’), I’ll be procrastinating by blogging! Sending you all love ♥

Girl, tonight you look so pretty.

Yes, you do.

IMG_1020

 

Must admit, tonight has been a real odd one. (And just in case you were wondering, the photo above was around this time last year – what a year it’s been.) All day long, I’ve had Hey There Delilah stuck in my head…not that I’m complaining, since it’s one of my all-time-favourites. Anyway, tonight, yes. It was a night that I was nervously looking forward to, which always seems to be the case when it comes to this kind of thing. ‘Thing’ being pretty much any event where there will be a large gathering of people from the Deaf Community. I was nervous because I’m a true introvert, although I think I’m a confident introvert (never thought I’d say that in the same sentence!). Also nervous because it’s just how the Deaf Community makes me feel; I’ve never really felt accepted.

Even though I’ve been deaf since birth, most likely, I have still never really felt accepted by the Deaf Community. Now, I’m not saying that all Deaf people are like this, because I know a wide range of d/Deaf people, and they are all completely lovely…but on the other hand, I’ve had some almighty bad experiences within the Deaf Community, to the point where I just don’t want a part of it. It creates some real confusion within me in terms of my deaf identity. I absolutely love sign-language; it’s a beautiful language, and it’s a language that has no barriers…and yet it’s the people who put the barriers up. (Again, not everyone.) My only wish is that all deaf people – big “D”, little “d”, HoH, deafened, everyone – can be united. All these politics and divisions and arguments and judgements and criticism…it just doesn’t do it for me.

I am damn proud to be deaf, but I will not define myself with a big “D” or little “d” – I can understand the idea behind it, but it’s so exclusive. Why should I have to give myself yet another label? After fighting so hard to be seen as “Sarah”, why should I then have to go on to fight for my right to be accepted within a community that should, by default, already have accepted me? I am deaf, I most likely carry the deaf gene, which means that when I have children, it is likely they’ll be carriers of the gene too – but that’s a whole blog post in itself. The point is, I am deaf; profoundly deaf. Yes, I can speak well, but I can also sign well. I am bilingual, and really starting to prefer BSL over spoken English.

Of course, I’m not naive, and I understand that there is a lot more to this than what I’ve written here…and the deaf identity is a complex one. It’s different for each deaf person; my deaf identity is probably different from my sister’s deaf identity. I feel a lot more comfortable with BSL, and find that there is an ease of access with it; it’s visual, and fluid. Yet, I also love the English language.

It is also 3.30am, and once again I am wide awake when I really ought to be fast asleep. I will bid you farewell, and leave you with my jumbled thoughts. Well, maybe they aren’t so jumbled, but they are slightly confused.

Hey there Delilah
What’s it like in New York City?
I’m a thousand miles away
But girl, tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can’t shine as bright as you
I swear it’s true

IMG_1226

Assumptions and Misconceptions

There’s been something that has been on my mind for a while, but I’ve not known quite how to word it. Something that I have had to accept, as a deaf person, is that there will always be people in the world who will already have an idea of what I’ll be like…simply because I am deaf. It’s a label, and it’s never very good, in this context. Growing up at Chickenshed Theatre (formerly Chicken Shed Theatre Company…don’t ask!), I always knew that everyone was equal – no matter what their age, race, whether they were ‘disabled’ or not – it just didn’t matter. It’s part of the reason why I loved that place so much, growing up, particularly when I hit the teenage years. At school, I always felt very ‘deaf’ – I was given that label by hearing people, and when you’re a teenager, in a mainstream school, full of around 1,200 other students…it was tough. It was tough to try and rebel against that label, and just be seen as ‘Sarah’…not ‘Sarah, the deaf girl’.

As I’ve become an adult, these labels still stick, but I now know not to worry so much about the people who are ignorant, or have some kind of preconceived idea of what you’ll be like, based on how they see a certain group of people. However, it just makes me think. Why can these ideas not be changed; of course, it’s a lot easier to do this when it’s one-to-one, or with a small group of open-minded people. It’s so much harder when people are set in their ways, and refuse to change the way they think about something; I find this very difficult to accept when it comes to the way people think about others. For example, yesterday I saw a wonderful video, and at the end they show a negative response that they had – although they are the kind of people, I feel, who know that not everyone is like this – and this shows in the video:

Another thing is misconceptions; when I was a teenager, I read an amazing book – Deaf Women’s Lives: Three Self-Portraits – and I came across a quote in it that I will never forget. It was a quote from Gallaudet University, about myths and misconceptions (these things are obviously not true, which is the whole point – it’s worth pointing out that Gallaudet is THE Deaf University, google it):

“Deaf people can only do certain jobs.
Deaf people are less intelligent than hearing people.
Deaf people have similar abilities, ideas, and outlooks.
All deaf people use sign language.
All hearing losses are the same.
All deaf people read lips.
Noisy environments don’t bother deaf people.
Deaf people can’t talk.
Hearing aids restore hearing.”

It made a huge impact on me, and I will never forget it. It was one of those eureka moments, and only reaffirmed my urge to visit Gallaudet. It’s a huge aspiration of mine, and I know that when I finally set foot in that wonderful place, I will feel overcome with emotions.

There are far too many assumptions and misconceptions in this world, but there are also many, many people who are working to break them down. If you are one of them, I applaud you, I thank you; sometimes it’s as simple as correcting someone when they say something you know not to be true. I often find myself feeling baffled at some of the things that people come out with, but then I just have to realise that they just might not know much about the topic they are talking about. Lemony Snicket has got it right, and I couldn’t have said it better:

“Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make — bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake — if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble. Making assumptions simply means believing things are a certain way with little or no evidence that shows you are correct, and you can see at once how this can lead to terrible trouble. For instance, one morning you might wake up and make the assumption that your bed was in the same place that it always was, even though you would have no real evidence that this was so. But when you got out of your bed, you might discover that it had floated out to sea, and now you would be in terrible trouble all because of the incorrect assumption that you’d made. You can see that it is better not to make too many assumptions, particularly in the morning.”

Let’s go and put the world to rights.

Speaking Up.

Wow. Over the past couple of weeks, so much has been bubbling within me, to the point where I’ve gone beyond feeling angry about things, and am now trying to use that anger to make a positive difference. You know how it goes; you’ll read something, or experience something, and know that it’s so horrendously wrong…but you have no idea how to change it. No idea how to make it better. And then, as more time starts to pass, you may meet people who feel the same way as you, and want to make the same changes as you…and then more people get added to the mix, and before you know it, you have a whole group of people who want to put their collective voices together to stand up against things. Peacefully, of course, and in a highly positive way. I’m very happy to say that I’ve found these people, and am now working towards changing things, for the better.

These ‘things’ are mostly to do with the UK Government. At present, we have the Coalition Government, which is Conservative, “supported” by the Liberal Democrats – but let’s not delve into that. The fact is that this government are implementing cuts where they shouldn’t be; before I get attacked by a wave of people supporting the government, let me take some time to explain. I am profoundly deaf, and since a young age, my mother had fought and claimed Disability Living Allowance for both myself and my older deaf sister. This money (a benefit) is there for us to be on an equal footing with our hearing peers; it pays for any equipment we may use (minicoms, vibrating alarm clocks, flashing lights for when the doorbell rings, hearing aid batteries at the weekend – when the NHS clinic is shut…), and any other costs that may incur as a result of being deaf in a hearing world. For many other disabled people, this money also helps them to be able to fund things they shouldn’t have to pay for out of their own pockets. Now, this government wants to scrap DLA. It is, the plans are already in motion. They are re-assessing all people who currently claim it, and are going to decide on whether we are eligible for a new benefit that will replace it – PIP (Personal Independence Payment).

You may be thinking: why change something, if it works? Well, that’s the point I’m getting to – it does work, so it really doesn’t actually make much sense for them to change it. They are throwing millions of pounds worth of money away through hiring an external company to assess people, changing a system that works, and they have a ‘target’. This target is to cut the amount of people who are on DLA, or rather, who can be eligible for PIP. It honestly does not make sense. Rather than supporting their people, they are taking away vital benefits, benefits that actually help to improve the standards of living for many, many people in this country. And for what? Just because they need to cut back on government spending? It’s atrocious.

This is why I am so pleased that people are making sure that their voices are being heard; Melissa Mostyn, a fellow deaf blogger, has written a great post on why we should get behind campaigning against the welfare cuts: Eleven reasons why the UK deaf population should join the war on welfare. On Facebook, there is a group for people who want to speak up: Deaf People Against Welfare Cuts. Something needs to change, and I’m feeling positive that our voices will be heard.

The other thing is a campaign for a BSL Act. BSL stands for British Sign Language, and it is used by many people in the UK as their first language, and many more as their preferred language – for example, although English is my first language, I am finding more and more that BSL is much easier to access, and makes life generally more accessible for me. It is a pain to spend a whole day lipreading, and it is so much guesswork that it just tires you out. With BSL, I find that the strain is taken away, and I can access the spoken word a lot more freely and easily. Therefore, the government statistics that there are around 55,000 users of BSL in the UK, is in fact wrong. The more accurate figure is around 122,000. When you consider this, it seems extremely silly that BSL isn’t afforded the same legal rights as spoken languages.

For example, for most of my GP appointments, my mum still comes along with me – even though I am almost 24. If she didn’t come with me, I would struggle to access what my doctor is saying. Even with audiology appointments, which I have to attend more regularly, and usually on my own, I struggle, because I find that audiologists don’t even have a good understanding of deaf awareness, and they work with deaf and hard-of-hearing people on a regular basis. (This isn’t to say that all audiologists are like this, but I’ve come across this many times…and it’s not right.) Getting the EDM (Early Day Motion) of the BSL Act into parliament will mean that access issues for all deaf people can be discussed; and when this happens, it will hopefully lead the way for access issues to be improved. The UK is falling behind with deaf access, and although a lot of good things have been improved…there is still a long, long way to go.

The Facebook group for the BSL Act is: Spit the dummy and campaign for BSL ACT! For the lists of MPs who are able to put their vote forward for the EDM: you can find the ones who are going to be voting for it here, and the ones who have yet to sign it here. If your MP can vote for this cause, then please, if you believe in this, email them, write to them, or even visit them in person, and tell them why you believe it is so important that this gets discussed. The deadline is 30th of April, which is fast approaching; but huge waves are being made, and this makes me feel so proud.

I know that this is a very heavy and long blog post, but it is something that I am feeling very passionate about. Change is already happening, and it will only get better. We will improve access for thousands of deaf people in the UK, and we will not back down. Forever positive.

Age is but a number.

“We grow neither better nor worse as we get old, but more like ourselves.” ~ May Lamberton Becker

Tonight, I’ve been thinking a lot about age, and how once we hit a certain age…we feel slightly sad. Why not take that sadness, however slight, away, and in it’s place…a thirst for life, no matter what your age is. Life is a wonderful thing, and I’m always feeling a strong sense of awe and inspiration whenever someone I know achieves their dreams – and age has absolutely no factor in it! It’s possible to achieve what you want, no matter whether you’re 16, or 60. Age is but a number, it really is.

This year, I’ll be turning 24, and I’m very tempted to start a 25-before-25 on my birthday. I think it’ll be a great way to countdown to 25, and make it a year to remember. And it’s something you can do at any age! I think it’ll only get more fun with time, because you can come up with even more things to do. Always the little things, they’re always the things that make me smile.

And, hey, I’m still wearing my Chucks, and I have no plans of throwing them out any time soon. Heck, I’m just going to keep adding to my collection – age only makes them look better, in my opinion.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 199 other followers