Boy, why are you crying?

Yup. Peter Pan. What a lovely boy. Well, actually, he’s pretty arrogant at the beginning – “Oh! The cleverness of me!” – but then he goes on to talk so beautifully about girls…saying that one girl is worth twenty boys! Uh huh, that’s a lovely boy. And I love the fact that he’ll stay a boy forever. In fact, I just love Peter Pan, Barrie created such wonderfully lovely characters in his plays/books. The reason I’m raving about Peter Pan is because I’m currently working through the play text, analysing it, and writing an assignment on the fairyland. I still can’t quite believe how much I’m enjoying my Open University module/course this year! It seems to be the first time in a while that I’ve actually been enjoying my studies again. It really seems like things are on the up again = good times.

It’s been a strange week so far. Monday was, quite simply, shit. The whole thing to do with my hearing taking a drop just seemed to shadow everything and really pull me down. And despite trying to be strong, Tuesday and Wednesday were hard days too, because I kept breaking down at various points throughout the day. Happily, I’ve managed to kick some sense into myself now and I’m drinking out of a cup of positivism again…phew! It’s just that, for now, I don’t need to get worried and stressed about the hearing drop thing because I do still HAVE some hearing, and hearing aids are really helping me these days, so whilst I still have all of that, I really have no reason to stress out about not being able to hear some day. I think I was just grieving for the hearing I had before…and grieving for the hearing that I’ve just lost recently. Honestly, every time my hearing drops, a little piece of my heart gets broken. Not permanently, but it bloody hurts when it happens.

Things started to pick up a bit on Wednesday night, as I was in the Christmas show, and the little boy I support was back! (He had been ill, which meant that I hadn’t seen him since before Christmas!!) So, that special little deaf boy, well, he just really injects sunshine into everything he does…and so when I see his gorgeous little face…a smile erupts on my face. Happy days. I really hope I can support him again in his Children’s Theatre weekly workshops…otherwise I’m going to really miss him. I’ve been working with him at the theatre for a year and a half now…and I adore him. Oh boy! Another little Peter Pan, he is.

I find late night blogging sessions fairly therapeutic…they seem to bring a calm over me and all my troubles seem just a little bit less troublesome. I guess that this blog is kinda like a good, old friend. It’s been by my side throughout the last few years and I now find that reading back through old blog posts can be funny sometimes. When I read back over posts I did when I started the blog, I chuckle to myself. It was around the time during the summer before I went to University…and I felt so excited, yet so scared at the same time. I’m really quite glad that I started this blog…it’s been a good journey. And a good way to document that journey. Life isn’t all daisies and sunshine all the time, and yet, there are moments of happiness that seems to rush through your body and lift you into the air for a while…but quite a lot of those great highs and blue lows seem to be recorded amongst the blog posts; it’s going to be a great thing to look back over in years to come. And there’s still a whole load of adventures to go on and record…so don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere just yet!

Hope everyone has a very, very, very HAPPY FRIDAY! And also, if a certain close friend happens to read this…HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY! Looking forward to celebrating with you in 60s style on Saturday night <3 Everyone else…have a great weekend :)

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