Tonight, I’m feeling a little sad. The reason being, that Mona is moving house on Monday. Whilst this is a cause for celebration, and excitement, it’s also a little sad, because for as long as I can remember, she’s always lived 10/15 minutes away from me, in the area where we both went to Primary school. I know that once she moves, I won’t be seeing any less of her, but it’ll just be different. There are so many memories intertwined inside the walls of her house; secrets we shared as young girls, giggles over our crushes as teenagers, tears and sorrow during hard moments in our lives. Many midnight feasts were had when we were young, those times when we attempted to stay awake until, shock, horror, midnight, which, of course, was extremely late. Playing with toys, acting out scenes with our Barbies, of things we believed to be extremely sophisticated. Lego and Polly Pockets scattered around the room, missing for a long while, until we discovered them again. There are so many memories that are rooted in that house, and I am going to miss it a great deal. We take these things for granted, and when things change, we notice all the things we are going to miss.
Things don’t always turn out the way we expected; in my daydreams, I had imagined myself sitting on the floor in the kitchen, baking cakes, whilst the house is being boxed up. I imagined myself taking lots of photographs, to remember for years to come. I imagined going around every little corner of the house and garden, taking mental photographs, so that I’ll always remember. This hasn’t been the way it’s turned out; instead, I am in my own bedroom, writing this, and missing Mona terribly. It has been a long week, and it’s a week in which we’ve not seen each other. It happens sometimes, but this week, I’ve noticed her lack of presence. I’ve missed her presence. Maybe it’s because I know that soon, our time together will be in a whole different place. Different cafes. Different Starbucks.
It might be apparent to you, but I am not very good at coping with change. I freak out a little. Before the positive thoughts kick in, a whole rush of not so good thoughts enter my mind. I think about how different things will be. I think about the few extra miles. I think about having to adapt to the changes. Then, slowly, I’ll start to think about the good things. Being further away will mean that we spend longer with each other. It’s a new adventure. We’ll have new places to explore. There’ll be lots of little road-trips. Sure, it is not all bad. It’s not bad at all. At least I know that I’m not that great with change, and so I can prepare myself. I can gear myself up. I can talk myself out of the uneasiness, and replace it with positivism.
Perhaps all I need tonight, is to clear my space a little; clean, hoover, tidy. Then I can make a lovely cup of tea, pick a good film (I’m feeling The Notebook tonight…?), light some more candles (already have 2 burning), and settle in for a good night in with me, myself and I. And I mustn’t forget to take some photographs…photo of the day is calling me. Actually, no, it’s nagging me tonight. In order to get a photograph, I first need to charge up my camera battery… Fret not, I’ll get it done! How are you spending your Saturday night?
Boxing up memories is hard, and it’s stressful, but it’s worth it in the end when you can open up these memories in a whole new place. A whole new place in which I am sure plenty more beautiful memories will be made. Just got to get used to it first. I’ll get there. When I have my tea in my hand, and look forward to the week ahead, I’m sure things will look brighter. I am sure. Hope you’re all having lovely weekends, and lots of love to you all.
