Love; what a funny, odd thing it is. It offers great highs, and great lows too. Really, I am quite lucky, as I have had the boy in my life for nearly 5 years now, and we’re the kind of people who just go well together. We give each other the space to live our own lives, separately, and then when we join together…it all slots into place. We try not to impose on one another’s lives, and accept that at times we do need space, because then when we meet again, we feel better for having had that space. In the last few years, we have both gone through big changes in our lives, but as you transition from teenagedom to adulthood, these changes have to happen; you have to grow, you have to learn, and how can you do that without experiencing the changes and mistakes you go through? These days, we settle into a comfortable routine when we’re together, and I like it. When you can sit in silence with someone, and not feel uncomfortable, then you know you have a keeper.
Love comes in many forms though, and I have a lot of love in my life. I love my family, I love my friends, I love people that come back into my life after however many years. It is all different, yet relative. The love I experience comes from within, and it is shared with those in my life. I love people, despite their faults, because I accept, wholeheartedly, that we all have faults, and it is these faults that make us different. I try not to point people’s faults out, and I try to accept them as a whole, to love them as a whole, and not think about their bad points, but instead love their good points. However, like most things in life, it is a lot easier said than done. As much as I love the boy, I do get annoyed with him, and vice-versa. But it’s okay, because after a few moments of being annoyed, we brush it off and move on. It’s not always the case though, and I know that as well.
It’s just that I always try to treat others how I wish to be treated; that is just the way my parents raised me, and I love that they raised me in this way. It gives me the chance to go out into the world, and hopefully get back what I put out there… I look around me sometimes, and I see cracks in relationships; I can clearly see how some relationships unravel, and at times it is impossible to put the pieces back together. Some people depend on each other too much, to the point where it suffocates one of them, or even both of them. Some people become far too caught up in the bubble that their relationship exists in, and are oblivious to the things that are happening around them. I’ve often seen relationships, whether it be a romantic one or friends, as a balancing act. Give and take. The scales tip, and they have to be tipped back. Sometimes they tip too far in one direction, and it never gets balanced again. And that is the great shame of it all, because no one enters a relationship with this in mind, you enter a relationship with the best of intentions, and you hope for the best.
Which is why I try to water my relationships, just as you would with flowers. I tend to them. I give them my best intentions. If the scales tip, I attempt to tip them back to their rightful place. It’s just hard sometimes, and we are all human…we make mistakes, we get hurt, we do things without thinking…it’s just the way we are. I guess I just wish that some people would see that, instead of throwing words out, like throwing their dummy out of the pram. It’s been a year, and no contact. I feel both happy and sad, at the same time. Happy, because the people around me now, are the people who I hope are here to stay, and sad, because of mistakes, and wasted time. Maybe that’s life, though? Maybe sometimes it is happy and sad? Maybe happiness isn’t always pure, and maybe it is sometimes born out of sadness? It grows, and it can come after a period of pain. A sad kind of happy?
That’s not to say, though, that I’m not happy. I am happy. I am happy with the choices I have made thus far in life, I am happy with where I am heading, and I am happy with the people in my life. The people in my life colour my life. They are my rainbows. I just know that life is hard, and I am acutely aware of the struggles that some people have to go through; I am aware of the pain that comes before happiness. I have grown, and I know a lot more about the world, and the people in it, than I did this time last year. It’s not a bad thing, and I’m glad to have learnt it, it’s one of those “life lessons”. Hey, that’s life, right? We win some, we lose some. We grow. We fall. We fail. We learn. Grow some more. Ebb and flow.
Just know this; I love you, I do, I do. Never doubt that.
“Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.” ~ William Shakespeare.
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Tags: acceptance, faults, Friendships, Life, life lessons, love, Mistakes
