Hello November

Pinch, punch, first of the month! What will November bring? There’s a couple of things I’m looking forward to in the coming weeks, and I have lots of ideas of things to do – need to remember to write them all down otherwise I’ll just forget…but they’re exciting things! I’m also (already?!) looking forward to things that will happen in December, and I’m determined to make this Christmas, and the lead up to it, a good one. Do you feel energized at the beginning of the month? Or does it just feel like any other day?

Generally, I think my outlook on things has improved again; I feel inspired and excited about things on the horizon. Of course, there will be bad days, there always are, but after all I’ve been through this year I feel a bit stronger, and I’m only now realising it. It’s strange how when you’re in the midst of something bad, you get so caught up in it all that you forget your bearings, and if you get swallowed up by whatever it is you’re going through, well, it’s pretty hard to come up for air again. I know I always say that you have to remember all that you’ve been through and let it help you, but sometimes, just sometimes, it’s hard. At the same time, everyone is going through something, so it’s never a competition (unless you make it into one!) and it’s important to remember to be considerate. I hate it when you tell someone about things you’re going through, and then it kind of turns into a battle, they feel like they have to top you – “Oh, you think that’s bad…listen to my problems…” Come on, it’s not a competition, as I said… However, after getting through things, you can look back with a sense of clarity and calm, and look forward feeling a bit better, don’t you think?

So, November. Here’s what I’m looking forward to this month:

♥ Lots of hot chocolate – both at home and out and about
♥ Mamma Mia – my lovely mum managed to get us tickets, and it’s captioned, wahay!
♥ A trip to the cinema – don’t know what we’ll see, but I’ve not been since May, so it’s definitely got to be on the cards!
♥ Researching and planning future travels…
♥ Relaunching the jewellery business – hopefully by the end of the month, exciting times
♥ Dinner with friends – had a lovely meal last Wednesday, we definitely need to do it again soon
♥ Christmas shopping…can start now, and save the last minute dash!
♥ Photographic adventures

What are you looking forward to this month? Leave a comment, I love hearing from you Happy Tuesday, and happy first day of the month, make it a good one.

Day 17: Seasonal Happiness

A lot of people seem to have a favourite season; I’m not sure if I have a favourite, as there are things I like about all the seasons…but I do love Autumn – the falling of the leaves, the colours, the cool air, sunshine without the heat… I’ve blogged a bit about making lists of things that make you happy, and bucket lists; and tonight I came across a bucket list of things to do in the Fall (yes, I know that’s the American word for Autumn…), and I thought it was a pretty good idea. Here’s the image that it came from:

If I was to make one myself, I’d probably change/add a few things here and there, but it’s the idea of it that I love! It’s definitely a great way to remind yourself of all the ways to embrace life this season, and have fun doing it. Plus, who doesn’t get a little satisfaction kick when they tick things off a list? You could even do this for all the seasons; think of the things you’d like to do, things that are really suited to a particular season, and then just make a list. Maybe you’ll end up doing the things that you always tell yourself you’re gonna do this year…and then you forget, or you just don’t do it. How great would all these little memories be? And from looking at the list above, they don’t have to be expensive things – you can have fun on a budget!

So, go ahead, make a seasonal bucket list(s), and create some happy moments. Hope you had a happy Monday – mine was full of sleepiness (wish this cold would hurry up and disappear!), but also productiveness, as the boy and I spent the afternoon taking down my old wardrobe, and constructing the new “wardrobe”, which is basically two poles fixed between the floor and ceiling, and then two clothes rails…pictures may have to follow… Here’s to the rest of the week!

Colder and colder…curiouser and curiouser…

The weather seems to get colder every day…I’m wearing more and more layers and wearing gloves, hat and scarf every day now! It’s getting dark early too; but all this means that it’s getting closer and closer to the lovely month of December…which brings CHRISTMAS!! I’m getting quite excited but at the same time, I’m worrying a bit as I seem to have very little funds at the moment. It’s actually a little bit worrying. Maybe I should find a paid job because at the moment I’m doing lots of voluntary work…and I really do need those pennies! It’s a hard knock life.

Most of the lights in London seem to be switched on now, with the exception of a few streets here and there…and most places in the ‘burbs aren’t switched on yet… Tonight, I’m off to see a firework display, really looking forward to it – I missed all the fireworks last year so I’m determined to make up for it this year…money or not, I’ll see a display. The one tonight is free too…good times! When you’re “poor”, you have to learn to be crafty with the money you have…stretch it this way and that way…you might be surprised!!

I’ve had a bit too much time on my hands lately, which means more time to think. In my little world, time to think isn’t always a good thing. It means I start to over-think everything if I’m not careful! I don’t know why I do it, I just think…and think…and think…and think some more and in my head, things get blown up into something they’re not…and I start to worry…until it gets sorted out, and then I look back and wonder why I over-thought it all too much. It’s a bit silly really. Don’t know why I do it, I really don’t.

Colder and colder…

Curiouser and curiouser…

Blogging in a twittering style…

Think the fact that I’m now on twitter has had a strange effect on my blogging. Well, that and the fact that I still seem to be too busy. Despite not doing much this last week or so. That’s a lie but it’s not a lie at the same time, if that makes sense? The weekend seemed to be BUSY, but last week was relatively quiet…but I suspect that had something to be with being “ill”. For the last week, I’ve been poorly with a tummy bug but thankfully, it’s starting to pass now. Fingers crossed!

I don’t know why I always seem to get myself into the deep end at the moment. If I have a spare moment in my day, I’ll try and cram it with something to keep my busy. But it’s not such a good thing. And I don’t know why I keep doing it. I’ve been thinking that it has something to do with being so busy at uni last year, that this time round I feel like I need to be busy otherwise I don’t feel as if I’ve achieved anything. Hmmm. But maybe it’s also to tire myself out so I can sleep at night and not have to think?! I don’t know really but I always used to be a bit of a lazy bum, so to suddenly turn into someone who’s BUSY BUSY BUSY, it doesn’t make much sense to me. It’s a strange life, this is.

So many great things have happened so far since friday. On friday, the boy and I went to see Bloc Party…and they were simply amazing, but they always are. It was a sad one afterwards though because it was probably the last gig they will be playing for at LEAST a year; they’re all taking time out from the band to focus on their own stuff – one has a baby, one is becoming a published writer… I’m eagerly awaiting their return to music though…but at the same time, I’m looking forward to Kele’s published works. Another great thing was Halloween, which I spent with a very close friend…we went wandering around Central London after midnight…as vampires, so it was quite fitting really…we found some tasty humans too Then on sunday night, for my mother’s birthday, we went to Pinktober’s Women of Rock at the Royal Albert Hall…it blew me away. Highlights, for me, included Joss Stone, Sharon Corr, Escala, Melanie C…gosh, I actually liked all the acts who performed that night…even Brian May appeared! It gave a great start to the week…

Lately though, I’ve started to feel a bit paranoid about things. Mainly about how other people perceive me. It’s probably just me, as always, over-thinking about things but with some people, I feel like they’re not being themselves all the time and I can’t quite work them out. And I’m not sure if I should bother but me being me, it’s bothering me. A lot. Do you ever feel that with some people, they’re being absolutely lovely with you and you feel like you’re getting on really well…but then there’s some moments when you feel like they’re looking at you funny and aren’t being very genuine? There’s a very small handful of people that I’m getting these impressions from at the moment. And I really don’t know what to make of it. It’s strange, these are people that I really wouldn’t have expected this kind of behaviour from. It’s really confusing me. Maybe I’m reading too much into it…but I can’t help it. When you get funny looks/behaviour from people, you’ll either be one of those who shrug it off…or, like me, you’ll sit and wonder about it for days/weeks afterward. I wish I could shed some light on the whole thing because now I’m not sure whether to make the effort anymore. I feel like I’ve put a lot into the friendship with one of them…but when I needed someone to talk to the other week, she didn’t get back to me until a lot later, by which time she was busy and I had already spoken to someone else. Is this just me, or is that a blow-off? Haven’t spoken to her since it happened. Haven’t really seen her since it happened. Or any of them actually. Busy lives or avoidance tactics?

Beside from that little hiccup, everything is still going quite smoothly in my little world. I’m excited because it’s November and it’s Christmas next month. But this is also the month that my Uncle died, I still miss him but I can’t even begin to imagine how my cousins must be feeling. It’s nearly two years but I don’t think any of us will ever stop missing him. As always, I’m just going to try and remember the good memories, not the bad ones. R.I.P P(D)F xxx

Hallows’ Eve…Halloween…

Just a little blog post to say…

Happy Halloween!!!

Hope you’re all having fun today/tonight…or if you’re not in the mood, just pop on your favourite “scary” film…and scoff popcorn all night…and eat spaghetti with tomato sauce – VAMPIRE style food…ahem. Not that I’d know anyway…

A Photograph For October

A Morning Post…A Rare Feat.

Rise and shine!

Surprisingly, I’ve been up since the horrid hour of 7.30am today. It is now 10.30am and I’m still attempting to fully wake up. Some interesting developments have taken place in the last few days. Firstly, I reluctantly joined the Twitter clan. I’m not sure why. Maybe just for the sake of it. But of course, I won’t give up blogging…I’ve got too much to say, it’s impossible to squeeze it all into a little sentence or two!

Secondly, I’ve been pondering the prospect of looking at flats/houses/studio apartments that I could move into within the next year or two…or, whenever I can afford it! I think the time has come when I’m finally starting to draw the final straws of living at home. Whilst at uni, I forgot about the hassles of living at home…well actually, no, I knew things wouldn’t be perfect when I came home but I thought it would be better than being at uni…away from home at least. But now I’ve come to the realisation that I need my own space, to be frank. I need the space to think and grow, and now at home I just don’t always feel like I have this space. That’s not to say that I hate living at home, no. Most of the time, it’s fine. But, as I blogged about over the summer, there are times when my mother and I don’t get along, and now I’m not so sure if it’s worth it. It’s better to have the space and get along fine, than to get on top of each other and bicker a lot. That’s what I think anyway. Any suggestions?

Drove the boy to work this morning, or rather, he drove there whilst I drank my tea, and I drove home… Luckily, I was awake enough to drive home! But now I feel like I need another tea to get me going, and I really want some cupcakes too so I may have a baking session at some point today. Wahay! I absolutely adore Lizzie In Wonderland’s cakes, she always makes them to perfection and has such an imagination on her, that they never fail to amaze. Trust me. Check them out on her blog.

Have yet to sort out the jewellery stuff…but that’s one of two things I need to do today. Strike that. One of THREE things I need to do today: the other two is to tidy my room and do some work for the course. I seem to always have things to do these days. The list never ends. It’s not entirely a bad thing, it’s just that it’d be nice to complete one list…before starting to write another! At least then I could feel like I’ve done something, and have time to pause a bit. I guess this is what happens when you live in London. The rat race and all that.

A little something I did for the course this week:

The sound of a door,
Opening and shutting,
Loudly, not carefully,
The pattern of a star,
Paved onto the ground,
With yellow lines,
Here and there,
A gentle breeze,
That I cannot hear,
Am I imagining the faint sounds,
Of traffic in the distance,
The Autumn sun,
Is breaking through the clouds,
Footsteps increasing,
Then decreasing,
As I watch them go,
I look and watch,
As this University life,
Passes on by,
But I have no regrets,
Campus life,
Was not for me,
It passes on by,
As I dream,
Of another dream.

No time for idle thumbs…

Wow. What a busy month this has turned out to be!! I had not expected to be so busy, I was expecting to continue to be a lazy lady, who just dabbled in this, that and anything. But it looks like life has another plan for me. I’ve been incredibly busy at the beloved theatre company, but I’m not entirely sure why or how I got so busy there. But it’s good all the same, it means that with the experience I’m getting, I may be able to teach Level 1 BSL by the new year – but maybe I’m getting ahead of myself here. But really, in terms of finding ways to get a bit of money in, this month has been great.

The jewellery venture is AT LAST starting to kick off…so get over to www.starsandrainbowsjewellery.wordpress.com for a gander…and if you have us as friends on facebook, have a look at our page on there too. We’re going to be adding a lot more to our etsy.com website this week too, so if you know the web address then head over there too. It’s getting closer to Christmas now, and I’m suspecting it’s going to be a tight one with the purses…I know it will be for me. Most of our pieces will be selling at anywhere between £2.50 – £15…with the exception of precious/semi-precious pieces, which will be slightly more expensive. And if you want us to make you something specific then let us know, the tiara on the blog was made for a wedding commission but the Bride decided to go a different way so she’s not using the tiara now, which means that it’ll be up for sale at about £20…if you’re a soon-to-be-Bride…get your mitts on it or request something similar – there’s no extra fee.

I’ve also been playing around with the camera a lot recently, and snapping away on the streets before all the leaves are gone. Then I’ll start snapping all the winter shots I want. I’m actually looking forward to winter this year. It wasn’t the same last year, it didn’t even feel like it was Christmas. I think it was because I was away at Uni for the lead up to Christmas, which was completely different to previous years which were mainly spent at home. And in the evening on Christmas day, I went round to my boyfriend’s house and stay over…which felt a bit strange for me; as much as I love his family, I felt a longing to be at home with my own family. I don’t think I yet feel a part of his family. Which is a shame I guess, but I think it may have something to do with my shyness and deafness. But having said that, his family are really good at trying to be inclusive…whereas my extended family aren’t as good. Strange. But I’m just really looking forward to the lead up to Christmas this year.

I’ve made a promise to Lizzie In Wonderland that I’ll go up and visit her at Uni before the term is out…we’re going to go to the German Christmas Market. Fun times. And when she’s home, I’m going to beg her to come to the Winter Wonderland with me…but having said that, I think she’s been already…so I’m going to beg her to go with ME. Yes. That sounds like a plan. AND I’m looking forward to the Christmas lights switch-on…all over London, the lights are already up…just waiting to be switched on. I’m so excited, I’m like a kid in a candy store! ALSO, I’ve decided to do my Christmas shopping week by week this year…well, I did the same last year and it worked quite well, it really spreads the cost of the festive season. That is, when I get some money in my account. I’m currently poor…until pay day.

The course is going really well too…but maybe I’m jinxing it because I’ve got an assignment to do for Friday and I’ve yet to get started on it. Whooooopsie. I’ll do it tomorrow I think. Must get a proper diary really, need to start keeping track of where I have to be…at what time…because lateness seems to be my best friend at the moment. But it’s not very good. Right, either I find my long-lost diary or buy a new one, which would be pointless at this time of the year. Oh dear.

Hope you’ve all had a less than hectic October… And I hope you’re looking forward to the Christmas countdown!

A photograph for you, because you’re special.

A few people I know have been feeling down recently, for various reasons. Snapped this at the weekend and it put a smile on my face, so hopefully it’ll do the same for you. I love to be able to “stop and stare” every now and then. The best pleasures in life are normally the ones we past by without a seconds glance because of the pace of life. Take some time to pause every once in a while, you may be pleasantly surprised. I know I was. Here’s to you…and you…and you…and you, you’ve all made me smile in your own ways over the year(s), I hope you know how special you all are to me. Smile, and chin up, tomorrow may bring a new expectation.

Today, I’ve been low. Think it’s because of yesterday. I know no harm was meant but it still hurts. Just a little. And it’s just so fickle that I’m unsure what to do now. Forgive and forget I suppose, like I said before, there’s no point in holding grudges when life is too short. I’ve probably said a few things I wish I hadn’t but it’s only because it did actually hurt me, to feel like you’re not needed is a horrid feeling. To have it rubbed in your face is even worse. I think that’s why I love the beloved theatre so much, at least there…

“Every person, has to be dead who does not, believe in someone…I believe in you, I want everyone to be beautiful, like you are, to me…” Copyrighted to the Theatre…

A little bit of sunshine for a cold day…