Recently I’ve been talking to my boyfriend about what he finds “sexy” or not… The outcomes are quite funny to hear. Some things we agree on: if a women is wearing a figure hugging outfit (either a top, dress or jeans…), it’s quite sexy – and I’m a woman, but I think it’s natural to find other members of the same-sex attractive sometimes, but not always want to “do” anything about it.
The only problem is that now I’ve brought up the subject with him, I’m noticing when he DOES look at others more…and I’m not sure if I like it. At first, I tried to give the impression that I was okay with it, I mean, sure, I look at others sometimes and think they’re good-looking (men) but it’s mainly with regards to what they’re wearing (I love the skinny jeans look and checkered shirts…unfortunately the boyfriend doesn’t like this style, at least not on himself…). I’ll look at another man and notice that he has curly hair, which I adore on men and my boyfriend has curly hair, so I’ve noticed that whenever I do look at others, it’s mainly based on their clothes and fashion senses – and it’s mainly so that I can then say to my boyfriend: “you would look good in so and so…” I very rarely look at other men and find them more attractive than my boyfriend…which is why I’m probably a bit offended that he looks at other women and thinks “wow!!”
Yes, I brought it on myself but still. I think I only asked in the first place because I was curious at to what his “type” is, as I am his first and only girlfriend… He’s always told me that he likes girls who have dark hair and eyes, so I tick that box, and he doesn’t like stick-thin girls, so I tick that box too, but as for the rest I don’t actually know. I know I’m not insecure, I feel quite comfortable in my own skin now, something that has taken the whole of my teenage years to achieve, and now that I’m starting out in my 20s, I think Lizzie In Wonderland has got it right: I want to look my best in my 20s. Now, for me, this isn’t about being thin, it’s about accepting my body-shape and trying to enhance it through fashion. I’ve started to develop my own consistent style clothes-wise, I know what I like and what will suit me and so when I’m shopping now I don’t always get something just because it’s the latest fashion trend – I’ll only buy a new piece if I think it’ll fit in with my wardrobe and if it’ll suit me.
If I feel comfortable in my own skin then I think it’ll show on the outside in terms of confidence and appearance. I always admire women (and men) who aren’t perfectly thin in the accepted norms that society enforces, because they always seem to have the creativity to create their own style, no matter what size or weight they are. I love it in London, everyone seems to have their own style and don’t seem to care what other’s think of them, which is great because they’re not scared to try new things and experiment with fashion and style. Two 18-year-olds I know are very creative with their style, one has a tendency to wear bright splashes of colour and accessorises accordingly with big bangles all along her fore-arm and big necklaces and ribbons in her brightly dyed hair. The other has a more neutral colour-pallet, with her hair dyed a darker colour and this year she’s been following the floral trend, teaming them with skinny jeans, cut off denim shorts and funky accessories. They both inspire me a little with their fashion. The other thing they have definitely inspired me with this summer is their SHOES!!! Wow! Big, high and bold shoes, in every colour imaginable. I love it.
Maybe what we find attractive varies from person to person. For me, I am definitely influenced by what someone is wearing, whether they be man or woman. For my boyfriend, I think it may be looks…followed closely by what they’re wearing. One thing we do agree on though is that attraction is made up of two things: personality and appearance. The first thing I fell for about my boyfriend is his blue eyes…followed closely by his lush curly hair…his style…and of course, his personality. I doubt that’ll ever change. I hope not anyway.
