You are the ultimate temptation,
Luring me to the table,
Away from restrictions,
Sugar-covered rainbows,
Gleaming with satisfaction,
Little handfuls of joy,
Calling, calling, calling me to you,
Breaking my will-power,
Beautiful little cakes.
Beautiful little cakes,
That belong in my tum,
Tum, tum, tummy.
I give in, mouth watering…
18/1/10
Clock says it’s past midnight,
Time to embrace the darkness,
Candles flicker in the cold,
Wait for no-one,
I stay a while,
Search for you,
Hidden and away,
What used to be clear,
Got swept away in the current,
Leaving a black hole,
Where we used to be,
A touch from you,
Kept me alert,
Now I glance backwards,
To hold you in my mind,
Candles flicker,
You’re late tonight.
Rise and shine!
Surprisingly, I’ve been up since the horrid hour of 7.30am today. It is now 10.30am and I’m still attempting to fully wake up. Some interesting developments have taken place in the last few days. Firstly, I reluctantly joined the Twitter clan. I’m not sure why. Maybe just for the sake of it. But of course, I won’t give up blogging…I’ve got too much to say, it’s impossible to squeeze it all into a little sentence or two!
Secondly, I’ve been pondering the prospect of looking at flats/houses/studio apartments that I could move into within the next year or two…or, whenever I can afford it! I think the time has come when I’m finally starting to draw the final straws of living at home. Whilst at uni, I forgot about the hassles of living at home…well actually, no, I knew things wouldn’t be perfect when I came home but I thought it would be better than being at uni…away from home at least. But now I’ve come to the realisation that I need my own space, to be frank. I need the space to think and grow, and now at home I just don’t always feel like I have this space. That’s not to say that I hate living at home, no. Most of the time, it’s fine. But, as I blogged about over the summer, there are times when my mother and I don’t get along, and now I’m not so sure if it’s worth it. It’s better to have the space and get along fine, than to get on top of each other and bicker a lot. That’s what I think anyway. Any suggestions?
Drove the boy to work this morning, or rather, he drove there whilst I drank my tea, and I drove home… Luckily, I was awake enough to drive home! But now I feel like I need another tea to get me going, and I really want some cupcakes too so I may have a baking session at some point today. Wahay! I absolutely adore Lizzie In Wonderland’s cakes, she always makes them to perfection and has such an imagination on her, that they never fail to amaze. Trust me. Check them out on her blog.
Have yet to sort out the jewellery stuff…but that’s one of two things I need to do today. Strike that. One of THREE things I need to do today: the other two is to tidy my room and do some work for the course. I seem to always have things to do these days. The list never ends. It’s not entirely a bad thing, it’s just that it’d be nice to complete one list…before starting to write another! At least then I could feel like I’ve done something, and have time to pause a bit. I guess this is what happens when you live in London. The rat race and all that.
A little something I did for the course this week:
The sound of a door,
Opening and shutting,
Loudly, not carefully,
The pattern of a star,
Paved onto the ground,
With yellow lines,
Here and there,
A gentle breeze,
That I cannot hear,
Am I imagining the faint sounds,
Of traffic in the distance,
The Autumn sun,
Is breaking through the clouds,
Footsteps increasing,
Then decreasing,
As I watch them go,
I look and watch,
As this University life,
Passes on by,
But I have no regrets,
Campus life,
Was not for me,
It passes on by,
As I dream,
Of another dream.
Wrote a poem last night…was thinking about Patrick Swayze…and how much he lived life to the full, right to the end. Watched Ghost with my mum and sister in his memory – would’ve watched Dirty Dancing (which happens to be one of my favourites) but we had just seen the stage production of it at the weekend. It seems a bit bizarre at the moment, first MJ died (and the day before his death I was contemplating buying the newly released tickets for the O2 performances…) and now Patrick Swayze, just after we’d had the time of our lives on Saturday…maybe it’s just me, but there seems to be a link. And I know there probably is absolutely no link between all of this but the week before my Uncle died nearly two years ago, I was talking to my boyfriend about him and said that I’d love him to meet him…and just the next week he died of a heart attack. Death seems to be a normal thing now, but maybe it’s just that I notice it more because I’m not little.
Cry To Me
Whisper in the dark,
Just as night casts its spell,
Call me to your soul,
For my heart beats with yours,
An eternal love,
That has no beginning,
Nor end,
Conflicting remains.
Feel this life,
As it passes on stories,
Of fear and defeat,
And everything in between,
Igniting your passion,
Dampening their pessimism,
Without the necessity of the bite,
No damn sarcasm.
When the days are slow,
And the nights are long,
There’ll be no restrictions,
If you allow yourself,
To be free,
But if the hope is gone,
And a void takes place,
Cry to me and I’ll be there.
In memory of Patrick Swayze
– No one puts Baby in the corner.
Three Blue Flowers
Three blue flowers,
Will sit on my desk,
Forever smiling my way,
Whenever life turns blue,
Their petals won’t fall,
They won’t follow the cycle of life,
Since they are enraptured in eternity,
No day will change them,
Rain or shine won’t faze them,
Day in,
Day out,
They’ll forever be smiling my way.
Paint the Town with Words
Too long,
This place has been sleeping,
Hidden in a cover of darkness,
Tainted with sadness.
Come out of your hiding place,
You need to see the light of day,
Search the places you’ve yet to explore,
Don’t shut yourself away all your life.
Let your youthful beauty loose tonight,
Seek out the inspirational people,
Who will touch your soul,
Paint the town with words.
Think it’s been a bit too long since I’ve written any poems…I miss it. Just typed those two, I think it’s time for more to be born!
It never fails to amaze me how one small decision can change the path of your life completely. It can determine whether you’ll meet certain people, and those people could become very important people in your life. And yet, if you had chosen to follow a different path, you would never have had the chance to meet them. I know this seems to be a very random thought…but I guess I am very random sometimes. Lately, I’ve been quite philosophical, philosophising about this and that and trying to find conclusions in everything!
I remember studying a poem in GCSE English, The Road Not Taken, by Robert Frost, and it inspired me even then. It was about standing at a point in life, looking down two different roads, one road was one that would have been more “acceptable” to travel down – it had more guarantees and rewards, or rather, it was clearer to SEE the benefits of travelling down that road. The other road was more challenging, and it was apparent that not as many people had travelled down it, meaning it was more of a risk to travel down. It makes me think a lot about the choices we make in life, and how we make those decisions, what influences us… If I had stayed on the course at Uni, then I would be graduating in two years…but I don’t know if I would’ve been happy. The road I’m hoping to take now will help me to fulfill the dreams I’ve had but was scared to pursue, sometimes the hardest decisions are the best ones you’ll ever make.
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost
One of the best things about the summer, for me, is the fact that there’s time to R-E-A-D!!! Here are a few books that I hope to read this summer:
Those are the only books on my summer reading list at the moment, but I’m sure more will be added along the way! Two of the books I’ve just listed are travel-inspired books (Stephen Fry in America and Notes from a Small Island) which should be interesting to read 
particularly as one is about Britain…time to be patriotic…? Nah! And the other, as the title so modestly suggests, is about America…plus it has the wit of Stephen Fry = a good read. Still dipping my head into Play every now and then…and also been reading some of the poems in an anthology edited by Carol Ann Duffy – Out of Fashion. Criiiikeeeeey…sure have got/done a lot of reading, by my standards at least!
Two pairs of the shoes I ordered arrived today: the brown high heels and the red Mary-Janes…they both make me a very happy girl, especially the high heels – they’re so comfortable, but maybe I shouldn’t speak too soon?! Still got the wedges to come yet and also a pair of trainers that I ordered for my boyfriend.
Getting a tad sleepy now…*yawns* think I may go to bed in a bit…and conjure up some delightful dreams… Sweet dreams.
Rising each day,
With the soft anticipation,
The sweet expectation,
But each is diminished,
Broken to the core,
The sun will not shine,
In the sky,
When your hopes liquefy.
Heaven seems so far away,
Hell is a place you do not want to go,
Life does not go your way,
And to live is not to do,
Dreams only pull you down,
Deeper into the drain,
Exploiting every part of your soul,
Whilst the stars slowly die.
No kindness lets you by,
Nothing is being tolerated,
Your efforts are not good enough,
This glamorisation is not for you,
Free to do as you please,
Does not apply to you,
For all the tracks you beat,
Every step is quashed.
Too many times,
This life has turned,
Twisted out of control,
No obvious escape,
Off the beaten track,
No lights to guide,
And no hands to nurture,
Just air below you,
As you fall,
Through all the gaps.
Why should you have to justify?
Lay bare your aspirations,
If they’re only going to be ridiculed,
What happened to the friendships?
The loving smiles,
Understanding eyes,
Why did the paths have to divide?
Whilst the sun kept rising,
Everything else was setting.
No hope for reconciliation,
A fading star,
Will not shed any tears,
A leaking laugh,
Will not heal the pain,
Does this life take forever to capture?
There will not be silence,
No calm in my heart,
Until I can justify you not being here…
That moment will never come.
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