Hidden

It’s strange, how other people with disabilities sometimes perceive D/deaf people. Some, not all, seem to think that we’re not disabled, and we have no right to claim to feel excluded and different from able-bodied people. It’s almost as if because our “disability” isn’t visible, it’s not there. When in fact, it’s the opposite. Whereas they can learn not to let their disability stop them from building good friendships, learn to accept it as a part of them…and just generally feel included with understanding/accepting hearing people…we can’t always get that. We have to work so hard, if we lipread, just to follow a conversation. Our eyes are doing most of the work every single day. We won’t always hear the dangers around us. Some of us rely heavily on hearing people to keep us alert to the world around us. Some deaf people, like me, can never hear the radio…it’s just a static, crackling noise in the background, never coming into focus. There’s so many things that make up our daily lives, that so many people don’t even think twice about…and yet they think we have no right to be “disabled”. And they wonder why we hate the word so much.

“Disabled” means you’re not ABLE. It means there’s something about you, that holds you back, because it doesn’t work as well as it should do. For us, it’s our ears. However, the reason we hate the word…is because for the majority of us, our deafness is NOT something that holds us back. For most of us, it’s a unique part of us. It makes us who we are. It’s ingrained into our personality. Rather than sitting and feeling sorry for ourselves all day, we get on with it. I find other Deaf/deaf people so inspiring, because they allow their deafness to make them stronger and a lot of Deaf/deaf people I know/have met, do not let anything inhibit them. Life goes on, and we know that only too well.

There is no point in this life, to sit and worry too much, to let things get you down all the time, to never go forward. And I NEVER want anyone to feel sorry for me. I hate it, absolutely hate it, when I meet someone…and they realise that I’m deaf, and their whole attitude changes, for the worse. They get patronizing. They look down. That look crossed over their face and then they treat you completely differently to how they did a few seconds ago. Although, admittedly, this hasn’t happened for a long time now. I think the times are changing at last. More and more people are becoming aware, and more and more people are wanting to be more accepting.

Deafness is, and probably always will be, a hidden disability. You can’t see it. One in seven people are deaf. But you won’t see it. Unless you can see their hearing aids – but even then, not every one wears hearing aids/cochlear implants. Not every deaf person signs. Not every deaf person lipreads. Not every deaf person sees their deafness as a part of their identity. Not every deaf person will be happy to associate with hearing people. Not every deaf person wants to be deaf. Not every deaf person wants to be hearing. What I’m trying to say, is that every single deaf person is different. You cannot generalise. Every Deaf/deaf person you meet will be different, because everyone is different. So, whilst it’s nice if, when I meet someone, they start signing to me, they shouldn’t. Because the whole point is that you need to ask. Ask the person you’re talking to what their communication methods are, because, if you start signing like there’s no tomorrow, and then the deaf person doesn’t even sign…you’re going to go pretty red. Everyone in this world is different. That’s what makes us all unique.

I’m still learning about who I am, and how my deafness fits into who I am. Every day, it becomes more and more a part of me. I like being deaf, because it’s shown me a whole other world. It’s shown me how to adapt to many things in life. It’s made me more accepting of others. It’s me. And it’s hidden. Always hidden. But always there. I’m deaf, and it’s alright.

Note: this is just my view, and there are so many other views out there. My view is not the RIGHT view, it’s just MY view. I know that some people won’t agree with everything I’ve said…but then again, isn’t that the whole point? Life would be dull if we all agreed!

Monday Morning…

Monday Monday (lyrics from The Mamas And The Papas):

Monday Monday, so good to me,
Monday Monday, it was all I hoped it would be
Oh Monday morning, Monday morning couldn’t guarantee
That Monday evening you would still be here with me.

Monday Monday, can’t trust that day,
Monday Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way
Oh Monday morning, you gave me no warning of what was to be
Oh Monday Monday, how could you leave and not take me.

Every other day, every other day,
Every other day of the week is fine, yeah
But whenever Monday comes, but whenever Monday comes
You can find me cryin’ all of the time

Monday Monday, so good to me,
Monday Monday, it was all I hoped it would be
Oh Monday morning, Monday morning couldn’t guarantee
That Monday evening you would still be here with me.

Every other day, every other day,
Every other day of the week is fine, yeah
But whenever Monday comes, but whenever Monday comes
You can find me cryin’ all of the time

Monday Monday…

I love this song…and it suits Monday! Especially Monday mornings…meh. I think most people feel fairly rubbish on a Monday morning…and although I try to be upbeat…I get low too, even though I don’t actually have to wake up early for work, school, college…nothing. (Again, another thing I LOVE about studying with the Open University haha) It’s probably just the general feeling(s) associated with Monday morning…it’s after the weekend, you’ve got to get through the week before it’s the weekend again, Monday itself seems to go slow…the list goes on (you could probably add a few things to it yourself!) Well, all I can say…let’s be positive, because once ONE person starts to be happy, on a MONDAY MORNING, it’s injects a little sunshine into others’ lives…and everyone (hopefully) will start to smile, and not be so low about the fact that it’s a Monday morning…well…that’s the idea, whether it’ll happen or not, depends on all of us individually. Happy Monday!! *BIG SMILE*

Hate it when you’re low…

I’ve always been someone who hates to see others low, upset, depressed or feeling sorry for themselves. If I pass someone who looks really down in the street, I try to catch their eye and throw a smile at them. It just seems to tug on my heart-strings when people are down and blue. Which just makes it worse when its people who are close to me.

The boy is unhappy in his job, and it’s really getting him down. Ideally, he should be training to be an electrician (he’s always been one of those who loves to fiddle with things and constantly tries to work out how technical things work) and working part-time in a job that isn’t all that demanding. That’s the ideal. The reality is that he’s stuck in a job that demands too much for him and pays far too little for the work he does. On paper, the job seems great, because he’s working for a company that you can work your way up in. He’s currently number 3 out of 5 – and in that I mean he’s worked up to the position that is 3rd from the top in the branch. (It’s an electrical wholesale company, with many branches across the UK, so in the branch there’s about 5 jobs: the driver/delivery man, store assistant, assistant manager, sales rep and branch manager – the boy is the assistant manager.) But the workload is too heavy, no paid overtime (and he works a lot of hours outside what is required of him), back-stabbing from the sales rep and branch manager…ah the list could go on but its far too depressing! So in short, he hates his job, he’s depressed by the end of the working day and he feels like there’s no escape. Pretty shit.

The thing is, a lot of people get themselves into situations like this and it is a huge struggle to get out of the rut. You’re working, you need the money…so many different reasons for not getting up and quitting. But he needs to leave this job, he’s been unhappy for so long and it’s affecting other areas of his life: his confidence has dropped, he’s not his normal happy self, he doesn’t see much of his friends anymore, he’s constantly worked up about money…it’s just shit. Which is why I’ve been helping him to polish his CV, research training courses…keep him optimistic – because the other thing is that he’s a bad pessimist, never a good thing in times like these. Hopefully that happy, cheeky spark will shine in his eyes again soon…

Yeah, I just hate it when those I love are low. Sometimes I feel like I can really resonate with them though, because I’ve been caught in the throes of depression a few times and I know that at the end of the day, it’s you, and only you, who can pull yourself out of it. So whilst I’m trying all I can to help the boy, at the end of the day, it is only him who can make himself feel better…and I think he knows that really. The last few years have taught me that if you’re down in the dumps…pick yourself up and change the direction of your life. There is no point in staying low for too long if you can do something to change it. Therefore, if you’re not happy with something, change it. And I know that it is always easier said than done. It takes a LOT of courage and bravery to change something, especially if its something that could change the course of your life…but once you’ve made the change, a whole big weight gets lifted from your shoulders and the sun seems to be shinning again. I only wish there was more support out there, especially for people who are low and depressed. Sometimes, it ends in the wrong way. The saddest way. I guess it can get too much and it seems like the only way out is to leave this world; but it doesn’t have to be that way. Our society makes me so angry sometimes.

Hmmm, this is turning into a dark post…think I’m just in a very contemplative mood this afternoon. Hey, ho, my motto…as always…life is much too important to be taken seriously. I reckon I could’ve been good friends with good ol’ Mister Wilde.

One foot forward…

How do we put one foot forward in this world? I find myself confused, again. It’s strange, because realistically, I know there are probably many lines of work I could go into…but I’m not seeing the options very clearly right now. All I can see is a life-time of work…until the age of 60/65, when we retire. I’m starting to wonder, what’s the point of education (further education), if it isn’t relevant to the work you do? It’s as if employers want to have evidence that you’re “clever”…but it doesn’t really matter what subject you’ve graduated in! And they also want you to have “previous experience”…well, how will we get that experience if every place wants you to have experience?! The world of work seems to be a confusing one…and I’ve yet to join the job-hunt yet!

Sure, I’m doing voluntary work, but I don’t think I want to go into teaching. Maybe that’s what “experience” is though? Voluntary work? If you can’t get an actual foot on the career ladder, maybe the first step is to do voluntary work…? I’m not sure.

I feel like I’m a “free-spirit”…and I’m not sure how I will feel once I settle down into a daily, 9-5 kind of job. I get the feeling that I wouldn’t enjoy it, unless it was something creative, something different, challenging…but really, what is out there?! From watching my sister getting more and more disheartened, it’s making me wonder and worry about looking for a job myself. I’m wondering what the world of work has to offer.

I know that the WORLD has a lot to offer, it has an amazing amount to offer…but does it offer it through work? The state of society, of commercialism, worries me. I’m trying to judge what society’s attitudes towards deafness is, in our day and age. Will I have to put up a fight to get where I want to be? Will it be a constant struggle? Or will I be lucky enough to find a group of people to work with who are accepting, who are deaf-aware? I know one thing though, I won’t find out the answers to any of those questions until I put myself out there.

On the other hand, maybe I should look at the world of work as an adventure? It’s a new path to go down; and for the most part, you are in control – nothing is compulsory until you enter into a job. You can pick the job. If that makes sense?!

And now…I think I shall start the hunt…wish me luck… I shall blog about what I find!

When I grow up…(pt. 2!)

Right then, the other day I did a post entitled “When I grow up…”…and now I shall lead on from that topic with a new response! On Thursday and Friday, I worked at the Primary school…and the result wasn’t exactly what I was expecting!! I thought it would be challenging but I found myself feeling differently.

I was working in the Reception (ages 4-5), and it’s the first year of school. Some say that this year is the hardest to teach because you’re helping them to get started on their academic life; it’s the first step, you learn to count, you learn the alphabet…you learn through play. Play. Maybe that’s the problem?! Because a lot of the time, it just felt like I was “supervising” their play. I know this probably sounds quite rude, but it was just too boring for me. Maybe I should give it a few more weeks, because it is early days and I need to build up a relationship with the children, but I just find myself thinking that maybe I spoke too soon about wanting to be a ToD?

My earlier doubts about whether it’s something I want to do could be ringing true here. I’m a very creative person – I love writing, photography, art…but I’m also the kind of person who gets bored quite quickly, I need to have variety in life, in jobs, so that I always keep an interest in what I’m doing. I was one of those kids who used to watch Art Attack on TV…start making the projects and then rarely finish them! That’s not to say I won’t stick something out and finish the job in question; I just need a lot of stimulation I guess. Right now, it feels a bit like I’m back at square one: trying to figure out what I want to do in the future in terms of careers.

I just think, and I’ve said this before, my generation is a very confused one. We don’t actually know WHAT we want, unless we’ve decided on something and follow it until we’ve achieved it…if that makes sense? Some people just find what they want to do early on and keep on with it. Others, well, it’s more difficult. Part of the problem could be that there’s so much on offer out there, there are so many different career paths to go into…but which one to go into is the more difficult decision! For most people, they have career advisers at school, or “options” advisers…and they help you to a certain point, they help you decide what you want to do after GCSEs…after A-Levels…but then you’re on your own. Or, that’s what it feels like. Sure, you can go to centres (like Connexions) that can advise you; but how many of us actually go? How many of us actually seek out the help when we need it? I don’t know, maybe a lot of people do, but most of the people I know don’t. They try to figure it out themselves. Like I’m doing right now.

I’m okay, I’ve got my course, I’m volunteering…I’ve got my family, friends, the boy… All I need, I’ve got. But the one thing I want is an aim. I don’t like going through the days aimlessly, without an ultimate goal. Perhaps I’ll change my mind? Maybe I’ll decide in a few weeks time that I do actually want to be a ToD…? But right now it doesn’t look very promising. I don’t know; maybe I COULD be a writer…but I’m quite critical of my own work, I don’t have very much confidence in my writing sometimes. I’m not confident enough to say “Actually, maybe I could be a professional writer.” To be a writer, you need to be inspired to write; sometimes I don’t have that inspiration. I have the inspiration to take photographs, I love to capture the world around me, I love capturing moments in time so that you can keep them forever; but when it comes to writing, I need a bit more of a push to get going at times. Maybe I should just try to do some free-writes every day, as I find that normally helps to get my creative juices flowing.

I think some people just have a calling, they have something that they feel they are destined to do. Some people have many callings. The other day my mum said to me that the young generation of today, on average they’ll go through about 15 different jobs/careers in their lives. In today’s society, maybe that’s the way it is? Yes, some people will stick at one or two things throughout their lives; others may try many different things. Which do you think you fit into? For me, it may be the latter because, as I’ve said, I’m someone who gets bored if I do something for too long. I guess, for me to be fully happy, I need a job that will offer me a lot of stimulation, a lot of different things to do…something that is never the same. I thought I’d find that with children, as experience has shown me; but maybe it’s different in a school environment? I don’t know. I’m a little confused at the moment, as you can probably tell!

When I grow up…

V…for very, very, extraordinary…

Well, I’ve always said that I hate Valentine’s day – I honestly think that it has become too commercialised…hey, diddle, dum, a lot of things are these days! I’ve been in a relationship with the boy for nearly three years now but I still don’t like the day! Why have ONE day when you have to shower your other half with cards, hearts, slushy lovey dovey blah blah, when you can do it whenever you want, if you wanted to?! I just don’t see the point of Valentine’s day to be honest! It just makes all those who are alone feel rubbish, despite how much they protest that they don’t even care about the day, it’s pretty hard to ignore it with all the hearts all over the place! BAH!

I will confess though, that when I was about 12 or 13, I sent a card to the boy I had a crush on…CRINGE! Luckily, he never found out it was from me! I handmade the card…which would’ve made it even worse I reckon! Has anyone else sent valentines cards anonymously? Any embarrassing stories…?

Anyway, for those who DO like Valentine’s day, have a good one…the boy is actually dragging me to a football match on Sunday, about as unromantic as you can get, wahey!!

All shapes and sizes…

It seems that in recent years, society has become obsessed with weight and appearances – but what’s the point…? These days, people often seem to want to label a person’s weight (haven’t a clue why, unless you’re in the medical world), and various labels seem to get thrown around: OBESE, FAT, THIN, ANNOREXIC, STICK-THIN, FRUMPY, NOT-QUITE-FAT-OR-THIN, ENORMOUS, CURVY, TOP-HEAVY, BOTTOM-HEAVY…I feel like I could go on for a lot longer, and I’m also fully aware that there are a lot more words out there that are probably rather offensive…but, seriously, WHY?! Why do people seem intent on labelling other’s weight? Have the “concerned” medical world forced these words down our throats, or is it more to do with size-0 (or rather, size-2 now…!) models that some women feel inclined to look like, or all these glossy women’s magazines that grace the shelves…? Why, oh why, is society obsessed with beauty, figures and how fat or thin women are? I know that men may often have a similar problem, as the men’s magazines are often full of men flexing their “toned muscles” (unless you’re in the minority of men who go out and buy all those “lad’s mags”…with women covering the pages)…and if men are classed as “obese”, then you may see where I’m coming from here. I just don’t understand how society seemed to have become so narrow-minded and so determined to comply with a universal form of “beauty”, a beauty that is often very difficult to achieve.

The other day, my sister and I were watching Sex And The City (the film), and there’s a part within the film when Samantha (if you’re not familiar with SATC, she’s one of the 4 friends) starts to put on weight, apparently without realising it…and turns up in New York to see her friends, and her weight becomes a talking point. However, whilst some people would either turn a blind eye, or cast one eye over her and turn their noses up, her friends were just surprised that this very sexual lady had failed to notice that (probably for the first time in her life) she had been piling on the pounds and earned herself quite a small bulging tummy. Instead of saying things like “Oh my god…” etc, one of them told her that it’s not that they’re shocked about her weight as such, because they think she would look incredible at any size, but it was just they didn’t understand how she had done it without noticing (the answer was that she’d been avoiding mirrors – going through a bad time of it…). It goes to show, that even in one of the blockbusters, in one of the films where fashion is a very large focal point throughout (Carrie’s love of fashion is probably the cause), SIZE IS NOT AN ISSUE. No, rather, it is much better to feel comfortable within your own skin. I really do love SATC, the series AND the film now. (And am eagerly awaiting the next film…hope it doesn’t turn into one of those crap “second” films though!)

The point I’m trying to make here is that whatever your size, don’t let ANYONE ever tell you that you’re not beautiful. In most cases, beauty comes from WITHIN, and is not ANYTHING to do with the EXTERIOR…I only wish that some people would realise that. What is on the exterior is mainly what your appearance is, but sometimes, the most beautiful of people, are in fact not very nice people. However, some beautiful people are incredibly nice people, it just depends on the person I suppose. I’ve been brought up to accept people and not to judge people too quickly – although I obviously realise that there are some times when you have a gut feeling about someone’s character the minute you meet them, normally it’s a warning that you’ll never get along with the said person…or perhaps it’s the opposite, a sign that you’ll get along like a house on fire – I’ve experienced both gut feelings!

Some people have heavy bones, I know I do, and my sister also, so when we weigh ourselves (if ever!), we need to take that into consideration, BUT isn’t it best to look at how you feel…? Whether you feel healthy or not, whether you’re comfortable with your size (and not whether anyone else likes your size, look deep within and actually let yourself answer this one), whether you’re happy with who you are – both inside and out…? Some people have health issues, such as PCO and PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovaries Syndrome) which makes losing weight a hell of a lot harder; it’s just that we shouldn’t really judge another person’s weight because there may be a whole host of reasons behind their weight, and at the end of the day, the only thing that really matters is whether the person is happy themselves, we have no right to tell others that they “should lose weight” or anything like that.

I’m waiting for the day when society accepts that size is not, and never has been, an issue. Beauty is not the be all, end all. All that matters is that you learn to love yourself and your body, whatever shape or size you are. Be happy.

Happy Days and Nights

Ready, steady…GO!

Let’s make December a good one. It’s the month when people start smiling at one another in the street…or at least, it does in London, when normally, Londoners avert eye-contact. Having said that, recently, the kindness of human nature has been surprising me…a lot. And I’m glad because it means that when you least expect it, someone will help you out. Today, for instance, le mere was trying to sort out her finances so that she has slightly heavier pockets ready for Christmas shopping…and the man she spoke to on the phone about her credit card payments, was, quite honestly, absolutely lovely with her. He advised her to do this and that and not to worry about the card payment, just to cancel the direct debit and focus instead on the mortgage and other bills. And this was coming from a well respected Bank, which is saying something Maybe we overlook the kindness of strangers sometimes because most of us were brought up with a “don’t speak to strangers” attitude, and up until recently, I had been following that rule – but mainly because it’s rather embarrassing when someone asks you for directions and you haven’t a clue what they’re asking for – maybe this is actually a PERK of being deaf though?

Yesterday was one of the best days I’ve had in ages. For a while now, I’ve been thinking about the old Uni bunch, and how much I was missing them and wanted to catch up with them – yesterday was this day. About an hour or so before we met up, I was getting slightly scared to be honest, because I hadn’t seen them in so long, at least not altogether, so was worried it’d be a bit overwhelming but it was absolutely lovely in the end. Just as I walked in to the theatre we went to, they all seemed to JUMP on me and cover me with hugs, forward, backward and side-ways! Seeing them, made me miss them even more but I’m not so sure if I miss the course though, despite them all saying that they’re enjoying it a lot more this year – but at the end of the day, it all comes down to personal experiences and the simple fact was, that I didn’t like the course itself, not the people though, and I hated being away from the friends and, most importantly, the family I had back home. Going away for University isn’t for everyone. But it’s nothing to be ashamed of! It’s important that you do whatever is best for you. I don’t, however, regret going away last year because I’ve met some amazing people and some of them will be friends for life. So, no, I don’t regret it one bit. I only wish that I had the courage to bite the bullet sooner and decide to leave before the summer term ended, because then I wouldn’t have been worrying throughout the last term about whether to leave or not – I would have just made my mind up and enjoy the last term. But, y’know, life is funny like that!

Today is my big sister’s 25th Birthday – Happy Birthday! Hope you get a lot of chocolate, and enjoy the company of the cats We’ve mainly been drinking tea and playing with the cats…it’s been nice so far…and tonight we’re either getting a Chinese take-away, or opting for a cheaper version from ASDA or Sainsbury’s and settling down to watch Coco Before Chanel, the men are just going to have to watch it – Birthday girl gets the dibs anyway!

And now, I’m feeling awfully hungry, so I think it’s time I went and got a bowl of pasta – what else?!

Go girl, seek happy nights to happy days… – Romeo & Juliet

(the meaning is referring to her Wedding night, but I like to think it’s also to do with finding happy nights and days…but hey, hum, everyone interprets things differently…)

Cheer up munchkins, it ain’t so bad…

Don’t know why, you’re so blue…
The sun’s gonna shine on everything you do…
The sky, is so blue,
The sun’s gonna shine on everything you do…

After all, the bad times are only there to help us see the good times. Oh, and to make us stronger of course! We all know, life will have it’s ups and downs…’tis why I call life a rollercoaster…but you need to ride it all the way to get the best out of it. And you also need to be strong enough to realise when you need to make changes, for better or worse but I hope for the better. Enjoy it. Live it. Carpe Diem and all that…(for those who don’t already know, it means “seize the day”). Don’t throw life away whenever you come across a hiccup because something great may be just around the corner. Grin and bear it.

After quite a tough week or two…I’m feeling a lot happier about things now. Most of the problems were mainly linked to money worries but I think the family are finally finding ways to be creative with what we do have…and the big sis and I are trying to REALLY push the jewellery venture – MARKETS…WATCH OUT! Overall, I realised that there’s no point in being down when you actually have so much to be grateful for. Yes, we’ve almost all had a hard time of it with this damn recession but I guess at the end of the day, it’s now helping the majority of us to budget more wisely and not splash out whenever we want to. This girl’s purse strings are pulled more tightly now. Well, with a little treatism…here and there…old habits die hard

As always, chin up guys and dolls. We’ll solider on through it and come out at the other end of the tunnel more radiant than ever…SMILES GALORE. Let’s have some sunshine days – although I am enjoying the rain, it’s fun to splash around and be a little mad – I’m surprised if you’ve only just noticed that part of my personality. Anyway, have a good sunday, wherever you are, and SMILE (though your heart is aching…).

No message could have been any clearer…

I truly believe that we lost one of the greats back in July. The idea that Michael Jackson is no longer on this earth is a very strange thing to believe. In fact, I don’t believe it because his music and the legacy he left behind is amazing that he will never cease to inspire people all over the world for years to come yet. His music had a lasting impact on my older sister (Cats and Chocolate) when she was first introduced to MJ when she was 4 or 5 – she was having a tantrum, so our dad shut her in a room and made her listen to Thriller. Not quite sure what he was trying to achieve there, but she’s loved MJ ever since…and that had obviously rubbed off on me.

However, I got the opportunity to perform to the Jackson 5′s “I want you back” when I was about 9 with the beloved theatre company…there was a group of us little ones who had to dress up in retro, sparkly 70′s clothes…and dance our funky moves on stage – choreographed, of course! It’s a great memory, and after that, I was hooked on MJ. The beloved theatre has also performed “Smooth Criminal”, “Thriller” and “Will You Be There”…every song they cover is always good, in my opinion. At their upcoming Gala this month, they’re covering a few MJ songs I think, along with an Abba melody, Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”…and a selection of their original songs. Unfortunately, I won’t be on stage but I’ll be behind the scenes…with the little ones, which is always fun.

This Is It has a lovely impact – whilst it was sad to watch, obviously because he should still be here, it was a very optimistic film as well. Throughout the whole film, there was a strong message of LOVE, largely coming from the man himself but also from the people he was working with. Towards the end, MJ said that they were all a family, it was a huge adventure and that they were going to show the audience something they have never seen before…something that would make them want to make a difference. His death had that impact on me, the realisation that life is too short…and despite only living to the age of 50, he had achieved so much – no one can take that away from him, not even the people who are STILL trying to drag him down, even after his life has ended.

I truly want to make a difference to others, I’m not sure whether that philosophy has something to do with growing up within the beloved theatre, my parents, or my experiences as a deaf person…but I feel it’s a combination of a whole range of different influences, and one of those influences is music. I don’t think it’s a good idea to underestimate the power of music; it can take out a message to many people, it can change some people’s lives. MJ is an example of this, his lyrics, his voice, his dances, his ideas…they touched people’s lives. He inspired people. And yet, despite knowing how many people loved him, he was so humble at the same time. His alter ego was huge, yet behind closed doors, he was a shy person – which a lot of people would probably find hard to understand.

Growing up, I was painfully shy. Being on stage was an escape from reality, I could morph into any one I wanted…and I’m sure it’s the same for many people. But then again, there’s a lot of people who just love the buzz they get from the stage… People have different ideals and motivations; I’m in no way forcing anyone to like MJ, I accept that for some people, he was a bit too surreal. But on the other hand, I wish some people would have the same respect for those who love MJ, if we can accept that others may not like his work or lifestyle, then why won’t they accept that others do? It just makes me so angry when people are still so judgemental of people, especially when they haven’t got a good enough reason to judge.

MJ taught me many things, but one thing will always remain with me – music CAN make the world go round. Music CAN make a difference…in the film, he mentioned that they had four years to beat climate change, which left me slightly confused, but then I started to think about Obama, and the fact that he’ll be in office for 4 years…possibly what MJ was referring to…? Some people can be too nonchalant…accept some changes as a good thing – things will change for the best, but it’s up to us to make the change and make a difference to this world.